Joel's Objective Comments

Thank you for the invitation to read all your posts on your blog, and also for asking me to give you a thorough and objective analysis of this matter.

REGARDING THE CONFLICT BETWEEN MAX AND MANY OTHERS

Before I continue with this, I would first like to emphasise that:
1. I do not wish to participate in this conflict and reserve the right to reply or not to reply to anyone.
2. This message is my personal opinion and is not meant to judge or criticise anybody. I apologise in advance if the message below contains any mistakes.
3. The recipient of this message is the owner of this wall: Max, and the main aim of this message is to help him.

After reading the many comments by various parties, I would like to summarise my view. It started with a few students joking about making fun of their teacher. Max then enters the conversation and tries to convince them to stop. He states his respect for the teacher and the contributions of that teacher.

However, Max receives replies which are rude, filled with inappropriate language. It is understood that his opinions are not welcomed since the main aim of the students was to vent their frustrations and kill time instead of having a serious discussion.

I suppose if Max had quit the conversation here, things would not have went so ugly. When we express our thoughts, we can expect to receive positive feedback, or, as in this case, expressions of anger and intolerance. Therefore, when others have expressed that they are not interested in listening, it is best to stop since further comments do not benefit anyone.

Max does not seem to understand this, or, as he had stated later, he continued to comment out of anger. His anger might have been caused by the lack of politeness of the students, and/or by the rejection of his idea.

Complications developed when other parties began to participate in the conflict. Among them, there are people who are only interested in posting comments for the fun of it. Therefore their comments can be ignored and deemed as insignificant. However, there are also comments which are written as an attempt to solve this matter. This comments have proved to be of no help as all can see, since the conflict has continued up to this day.

The root of this ugly hatred is the lack of respect for others, pride and vengeance. Inappropriate language stems from the lack of respect. Intolerance towards the opinion of others is due to pride, therefore disliking any person/statement that points out the mistake of oneself. Unwillingness to stop stems from pride. And many further comments containing harmful contents is for vengeance.

This message sounds very analytical and lacks emotion. Humans are made with emotions as a very core part of ourselves. Therefore I emphasise that emotions are not to be ignored and should be expressed. In their anger and frustration, many resort to using inappropriate language and CAPITAL LETTERS. There are two ways to solve this. One party can choose to avoid impoliteness and replace them with direct statements such as "I am annoyed and angry, please stop". However, if the first party continues with impolite language, the other party can choose to be understanding enough to realise the reason behind the impoliteness.

Since a great portion of the conversation was devoted to the issue of "rubbish", it is necessary to include it in this analysis. The word itself does not inflict great damage to either parties. The reason it has turned into the topic of the argument is that it creates an opportunity to prove that Max is wrong.

I hope that matters become clearer after I have expressed my point of view through the observation/analysis above. As a friend of Max, I do not wish to join the conflict and talk on behalf of Max. As this method has been proven futile. Instead, I would like to help by showing concern in this matter, reading and understanding posts and comments, and giving advice to Max.

Max, I suggest that you quit all conversations regarding this matter. To quit is not to be cowardly, or to admit that your point of view is wrong. To quit is to be courageous enough to put an end to this ugly conflict, since the other party has not shown interest in solving this problem through polite discussions/conversations. It is good that you have apologised. You have also been patient in not using any inappropriate language throughout the conversation.

And do remember that this conflict is not totally of your fault as stated by some. In the future, when you have opinions you wish to express, make the effort to ask the other person if he/she is interested. And bear in mind that the freedom of speech comes with the risk of rejection and the responsibility to take all measures to correct mistakes. If the other person is not interested, then stop. Further speech only results in damage. I believe you have learned a lot from this incident.

We have to face the reality that in this broken world, we are all incomplete and we hurt each other in one way or another. There are people who listen and there are those who do not. Hence, forgive those who have hurt you, to release yourself from pain and to help you halt any intentional/unintended hurt to anyone. And always remember that you have true friends who will listen to you, disagree with you politely, and to respect you regardless of your views and thoughts.

This matter might take a very long time to cool off, but scars remain. If I am you, I will feel an indescribable feeling of sadness and remorse, and anger to some extent, too. But as for me, I have a friend to talk to, to pour out my feelings, to find refuge and comfort, and to seek wisdom in times of trouble. The hurt is still there, the problem does not vanish, but my friend will always be by my side to bring me through.

Healing comes with forgiveness.